Blessing Jar, Musings

Sock Monkey, Silencers and Chewing Gum

6 May 2017

I appreciate A Course in Miracles and The Artist’s Way’s Morning Pages.  Somehow, aimlessly writing about poop turned into a pretty deep life revelation.  Funny, those things.

I am appreciate my friend Victoria.  Witnessing snippets of her journey encourages me to continue my own.

I am grateful for the freedom to sleep in when I need to.  I woke up at 1pm today, and that is just fine.  I got up, started laundry, wrote my morning pages, am jotting these first appreciations, and then I will move on to meditation and yoga.

I am grateful for my plans for this trimester.  I am feeling an intense excitement over my resolve to focus on my foundations instead of worrying about my output.  The mixed but complimentary coursework that I am doing offer a fundamental shift in the way that I BE.  My entire SER is on the drawing board, and there is a feeling of freedom and anticipation in that.  I am not a fixed, stagnate object.  Even my body’s cells are completely renewed over 7 years.  So to am I able to to change, learn, grow.  I am mutable.  I am water.

I appreciate Downward Dog, the app.  The restorative yoga sequence was exactly what I wanted today.

I am thankful for photo editing apps.  They’re fun.  Superfluous but nice.

I am thankful for my blogging objectives.  My plan is to do at least 3 posts per week (in addition to thankfulness), featuring my feelings, my inspirations, and my reflections of the week.  There is something really nice about making time to sit down and actually ponder these things, bringing them into conscious awareness.  I like it.  I would like to continue doing this.

I am grateful for flight plans and islands.

I am thankful for the freedom to spend a whole day doing nothing.  I mean, technically I got everything done that I wanted to do….  And most of those included my ‘formal’ objectives.  But I took my time, and once it was done, I crawled in bed with Netflix because I wanted to, and I could.  Some days I feel like I’m on top of the world and want to take it by storm.  Some days, I want to crawl in bed and eat rice cakes (yes, mom…  I ate rice cakes in bed.  It happened).  And you know what, Im actually really cool with that.  I will feel like moving again, just not tonight.  I remember starting my cycle while in Costa Rica a few years back.  I became absolutely TERRIFIED at my sudden loss of ANY semblance of a desire to do ANYthing whatsoever.  I remember vividly, crying and asking myself if this was the real me, wondering if I would ever want to leave my room again, wondering if I would ever DO anything, EVER.  And then a few days passed, and all I wanted to do was go outside and explore and create and eat and engage – like normal.  That moment of intensity has stuck with me.  We are a bit like the ocean… like the seasons… like the sun… like breathing… like life itself.  There is a natural ebb and flow.  I’ve learned that when I fight it, I suffer.  Now I take it as a gift.  I can spend 3 weeks doing all of the magnificent things that I dream up, and then, there comes a day or series of days where all I want to do is fast and sleep, or eat snacks and binge read or watch super, SUUUUper cheesy movies.  And it feels wonderful.  And then, eventually, the tide comes back in, the flowers begin to bloom, the sun rises again, I take a deep breath, and life goes on.

I am grateful to whatever bizarre and wonderful mind created the movie Mr. Right.  I almost peed my pants (cept I wasn’t wearing any).  It is utterly ridiculous.

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